Week 4: Food!

Week 4: For each family member add: 1 can of soup, 3 small packages of crackers and eating utensils (knife, fork & spoon)


I finally get to add food items to my kit! It's not much, I admit, but it's a start. At least if I am caught in an emergency now I'll be able to ration the soup and crackers to survive for at least four hours. Progress!

I was surprised at how difficult it was to choose a can of soup to buy for the kit. I wanted to get something cheap, to keep overall costs down, and I had picked up a can of Campbell's Tomato soup, which was only $1.07. I started to walk away with the can in my hand when I realized that it was condensed soup; you need to add milk or water in order to actually make it into soup. I don't know if I can guarantee access to potable water and I don't find blobs of gelatinous tomato material to be very appealing as a food source so I put the can back and picked up this:

I bet it's delicious cold

It cost $2.07 but once you open the can it's ready to enjoy, as the label suggests. I chose the vegetable beef flavor because it seemed like it would be a good source of vitamins and protein. I almost bought the corn chowder but I thought anything chowdery is probably at the top of the list of soups I might regurgitate under strenuous conditions.

Corn chunder.

I wasn't too sure what I should do about the crackers. Grocery stores do not often sell them in small packages, and a larger package would take up too much space and/or mess up my calculations for total cost. I thought I might have to resort to some kind of voodoo or, even worse, math. Luckily, I was out with a buddy this week and I ordered soup which came with these:

Survival equipment.

Lastly, and so far the most practical item included in the kit, a set of eating utensils! The more observant reader will have noticed that while I have food and utensils I still lack a can-opener. I would say the more observant reader is a Negative Nancy. Seagulls pick up oysters and drop them from a height to crack them open and eat the contents and I am relatively certain that I am smarter than a seagull. I'm pretty sure I could figure something out.

The utensils I bought are designed for camping and have some features that make them ideal for our purposes. The features are written on the front of the packaging but I'll copy them underneath for easier viewing and comment:

Compact: Utensils nest together in metal slot for storage

This seems like a good feature. Not only does it save space but it keeps them from becoming separated.

Dishwaser Safe
Not relevant.

Storage Bag Included: Reusable bag conveniently attaches to belt for hands free carrying.
You read that correctly. These utensils come with a cheap plastic bag to attach to your belt! And it's reusable, whatever that means! I like to imagine it as a holster. Tactical cutlery!

Ok, he wins. Mine does not come with a hood ornament.

Despite the fact that I've only added three fairly ordinary items, the kit is finally starting to feel useful. The soup and cutlery cost me $6.71; the crackers were free, of course.

That gives us a total now of $15.64 or $62.56 for a family of four. I would weigh everything but the scale I just bought has stopped working, even with new batteries. I'll have to return it and update the weight later.

Preparedness is Everyone's Responsibility!

Week 3: Contact!

Week 3: Post emergency phone numbers near each telephone and instruct all family members on the use of these numbers. Designate a relative or friend living outside of BC as your family contact - ensure that they are prepared to man their telephone once the initial 72 hours have elapsed. After a disaster it is often easier to call out of your region as the local phone lines might be tied up.


Excuse me, emergency kit? Yes, hi, I'm sorry to bother you but... AM I EVER GOING TO GET TO PUT ANYTHING INSIDE YOU? We're three weeks into this project and so far all I have to show for it is an empty bin and a blank list of potential food items. Where are the survival items and cans of spam? What about matches and rope and blankets? I would settle for a package of crackers right now!

Some kit you are. What's next week, write a new constitution for the civilization that will arise in the event our current one becomes covered in ash? What I wouldn't give to be able to buy, weigh and record the cost of an ax right now!

Better than my kit.

I have so many issues with this week's post, I suppose we should look at them cynically one at a time. Here goes:

Post emergency phone numbers near each telephone and instruct all family members on the use of these numbers.
You started off well. Emergency numbers are useful. But, do I really need to instruct anyone how to use them? What instructions are necessary? These are phone numbers. You press them with your fingers in the order in which they appear. If you have any questions about this process you are not worth saving during an emergency. Please kill yourself immediately.

Preparednicity is our goal.

Designate a relative or friend living outside of BC as your family contact... After a disaster it is often easier to call out of your region as the local phone lines might be tied up.
I live in British Columbia (BC) and I can tell you that it is geographically a huge chunk of land. Wikipedia says it is 944,735 square kilometers (364,800 sq mi). It's larger than Texas (696,000 sq km) and it's even larger than the entire countries of Germany and France... combined. Yet, I am supposed to prepare for an emergency that would wipe out the entire province? If I lived in Rhode Island I would think this was good advice. If I am in New Jersey I probably have a friend in New York I can call if things get ugly. But all of BC? Keep in mind, I am not taking something designed for use in Vermont and extrapolating it to use in my home province. This thing was created in BC for use by British Columbians!

Don't get any ideas. I'm looking at you, Germany.

...family contact - ensure that they are prepared to man their telephone once the initial 72 hours have elapsed
Is this really necessary? I mean, everyone has a cell phone these days so what's the big deal?

...local phone lines might be tied up
Again, cell phones.

Ok, kit. I am getting tired of these pointless instructions. Next week you better have something good to add or I may have to make some shit up.

During a disaster is not the time to plan!

Week 2: Menus?

Week 2: Create a menu for every meal for every day (7 x 3 = 21). Then use the menu to determine what food items you need to include in your containers.

Disasters can strike at any time. That is pretty much the reason you create an emergency preparedness kit. No one wants to get caught with their pants down during an invasion of killer bees.

You are not prepared.

Because this particular kit is designed to be completed over a 52 week period, you might expect that items of highest priority would be completed first; in case the kit is not complete when disaster strikes. Then why, I ask, after two weeks, do we have a container and a menu?

Inflation is a bitch.

What is supposed to go on this menu, anyway? We haven't added any food to the kit! If I get trapped in the earthquake reduced rubble of my home tomorrow I will have nothing to eat except the menu itself.

And this.

Here is where I cheated a bit. I looked ahead to future weeks of planning and there are plenty of food items added gradually to the kit. Phew! For a moment I was worried that I'd have to think of that stuff on my own!

I figure the best thing to do is to make a blank list which I can add the food items to; more like an inventory than a menu. Fortunately this solution also costs me nothing and adds no weight to the kit. Win-win! I don't think I need to do the math for our assumed family of four in this case.

So, our running total is still $8.93 or $35.72 for the fam. Not bad.