I know what I would do. I'd live comfortably on the contents of my Emergency Preparedness Kit. Well, not yet. You see, it wasn't until a few days ago that I realized I had a need for such a kit. I was skipping along, living in complete and joyful ignorance. Not of the threats, no, we all hear the threats every day. My ignorance was of the solution!
If there is no solution to your problems then they really aren't problems, are they? It's just life. It's only when there is a solution, and it's not in your hands, that you have a problem. And what does that lead to? Fear. Fear that when the terrorists strike you will not have enough canned soup nearby or that when a tsunami wipes out your home and all your possessions you will no longer be able to play checkers or shave your armpits.
Thankfully, my employers have seen fit to furnish me with the plans to develop an Emergency Preparedness Kit. It will take a mere 52 weeks to complete but when it is finished I will be ready for any contingency. I pass along this guide so that you too may benefit.
When our kits are complete, and the murderous race of cow-creatures has burned our buildings to the ground, we few, the prepared, can hold our heads high and proudly proclaim: I AM NOT A CANNIBAL!
Preparedness is Everyone's Responsibility!
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